I think it was quite poor of the conference to not offer alcohol free beers as part of the drinks package! I get that they are at a premium but it sounds like money wasn't really a problem if there was a free bar elsewhere.
I am really not bothered about booze as I have palpitations and terrible hangovers. But if you asked me to stop chocolate then that would be a different story. I suppose it is all about the role a certain substance plays in my life. To relax and reward myself I reach for the chocolate, where others might reach for the wine.
Well this is like two of my favourite worlds colliding! I gave up drinking on 1 January 2019 after realising it was starting to become a real issue. Trying to keep my drinking moderate was taking over all my headspace. When I put alcohol behind me I found I had loads of time and energy on my hands (sorry that you're not getting that!) so eventually I took up triathlon and that's where I discovered your Did Not...books, which I loved, and which inspired me to keep going even though I'm not a particularly amazing athlete. I've now left teaching, started volunteering as a triathlon swim coach, and I am a sober coach, helping women in midlife to reclaim their headspace and energy from their wine habit!
About 1 in 10 of the people I've worked with and read about (over the years I've done a lot of volunteering with people giving up alcohol as well as more recently doing it as a coach) seem not to get the benefits of great sober sleep and energy even after about 3 months. Try going for another month or two as it may improve! The best book I can recommend is Alcohol Explained by William Porter - he explains what happens to your brain chemistry when you drink alcohol and it really helped me to see why completely swerving alcohol is easier than just having one or two.
I'm so gutted for you and Rachel that you're not seeing the huge benefits I did, but it sounds like you caught the problem much earlier than I did!
I haven't drunk alcohol for about ten years now. I didn't intend to give it up completely but then I realised that I had gone weeks without it , without missing it and so I may as well ditch it completely. I didn't like how I became with alcohol - too talkative!
Looking back I think that it masked my shyness - and now I find I am something of an introvert. This means that after socialising where once I'd be wiped out the next day due to an alcohol hangover I am now wiped out due to an introvert hangover!
But I am glad I no longer drink alcohol. I'm not sure I feel any better but I feel that it must be good for me somehow. Plus it's cheaper (I'll tend to drink tap water when out).
There need to be more healthy soft drinks readily available in pubs etc. Ones not full of sugar.
Incidentally, last year I became vegetarian and I don't feel any better as a result of that either! Maybe there are subtle improvements and we are hoping for too much?
If I were you I'd stay off it. I'm sure that you could go back and drink with more control - but you'd very possibly find that eventually you'd slip back into old habits. (Not that your old habits were particularly serious - just clearly more than you're happy with).
I went almost entirely sober in 2023 while training for Ironman (from alcohol at least... and yes, I finished!) and I've carried much of that forward to 2024. I don't drink during the week (thank you NA Beer and my homebrew Kombucha!), but will have one or two at most on weekends - particularly "Sunday Funday." But I will note, for me the biggest thing is sleep! Since I cut back massively (I live in Wisconsin, USA - you can google our alcohol consumption, it's on par with first year uni students) I have noticed that even a few beverages within maybe 5 hours of bed time will have a negative impact on my sleep. My HRV drops precipitously, my HR spikes, and I will often wake up in the middle of the night entirely unable to fall back asleep. I'll rely on 5mg of melatonin in those cases, but I'd prefer not to, if I don't have to.
So yes, for me, it's entirely about the quality of sleep (which I know much more about due to The Self Help Bible). Thanks George!
Good point about the HRV. I could probably look at the data on my Garmin to see if there's any difference. Sounds like you've got the moderation sorted perfectly. Sunday Funday appeals to me!
Definitely food for thought for me and good work for you guys. I only drink socially but have been debating for some time stopping that too as I could just as easily drink lime and soda (not a beer fan and don’t really ‘get’ the non alcoholic beer/wine thing) and hate the lethargy I feel after a night at the pub and a couple of G&Ts with friends. I must have a different group of friends though (or be more paranoid!) as definitely feel peer pressure to drink! Cheers
George, you’re doing a wonderful thing for you and your family. The latest alcohol drinking recommendation in the USA is - don’t drink any alcohol. Zero is the recommended amount.
I enjoy wine, especially champagne. I used to drink when we went out to dinner or to a friend’s house and at home sometimes. When Covid hit, I took a leave of absence (nurse in an operating room - theater) because my husband has a compromised immune system. I was fearful of getting sick from my coworkers and infecting him. Four months later, I just gave up and retired at 67. I was home all the time, isolated, and bored so I started having wine every afternoon/night. My yearly physical showed elevated liver enzymes (AST and ALT). My doctor called me fearing I had hepatitis because I’d never had elevated enzymes before and he knew I wasn’t a big drinker. I stopped drinking for 2 weeks, retested, and they were fine. I decided I’d better cut down on drinking. That lasted some time and then I started again, my liver enzymes rose again, and it took one month to get them back to normal! That was a wake up call. It’s not like I was drinking a bottle/night. It was 2 glasses! I have Irish heritage! Where’s my drinking gene! I didn’t want to hurt my liver. I’m hurting enough other organs with my sugar intake! I periodically stop drinking but I still do drink wine but it’s in spurts where I’ll drink a bottle over 3-4 days and then not have any for weeks. We just started going out to eat in April 2024 to only one restaurant with widely spaced tables. It’s better to not drink because the road there and back is sinking/sliding into the ocean and alertness is required at all times to see all the new cracks, dips, and bumps in the road. The latest I’ve read is the road is slipping 13 inches per week. They’re now pumping water out from under it. Plus we had a small earthquake recently. So no drinking when out to eat at Trump Golf Club!
I’ve found “Less” which is an app to keep track of drinking which I find useful. You’re not drinking at all which is much better so you don’t need it but maybe others would like it. It’s free.
I’m sure more restful sleep will come to you and if it doesn’t, you can get a sleep study done to see why you don’t sleep well. Do you snore? That’s very bad. It deprives you of oxygen and shortens your life and sets you up for heart attacks and strokes. People wear positive pressure masks and that takes care of the problem.
Not drinking alcohol is beneficial in every way. I hope you and Rachel continue. It’s a good example for your kids too.
I'm still trying to figure out how anyone likes the taste of alcoholic beverages. It"s never been a thing for me because of the taste. But, there are times when I do feel left out because I'm weird.
I am reading these comments, and feeling almost guilty. I don't drink much alcohol at all, but, I wonder how often others drink more knowing someone else is the designated driver, which is usually me! However, I compare this to my craving for sweets, and how they are hard to control at times. I think you have to do what makes you happy. When it is your time to go, your time will be up. As long as it doesn't interfere with the family, (i.e. transporting someone to their planned events, etc.), I say enjoy it while you can!!! Moderation is key, this is true, but I have never been a drinker, and there have been many times I wish I had worried less and enjoyed more.
Thanks Lori. I totally agree. Moderation is key. I'll hopefully find a better balance. Just back from 3 days camping and resisted that camp fire red wine.
I seem to have an on and off relationship with wine. I'll have some every evening with dinner for a few weeks then nothing for a few weeks. The wine definitely affects my sleep and I know that I am better off without it. I suspect this on and off trend will continue.
Weird. By coincidence, apparently, I gave up alcohol two months ago (May 17), on a trial basis. I also have seen no differences in how I feel or sleep, and zero weight loss. Yes, the non-alcoholic beers are much improved in taste. And while they have no alcohol, still there are calories. Now at least I don't have to wonder if I did something stupid last night because I had one too many. I do stupid things completely sober.
I live in France in an area that produces great red wine…need I say more?! 🍷 I enjoy a glass or two of red most nights while cooking and eating dinner. Like you I have cut it out in the past for a few weeks a few times, but found it seemed to make no difference to my health or how I feel or sleep at all.
I never drink an excessive amount, I can’t bear feeling ill the next day, I’m getting on a bit now and hangovers would kill me 🤣
When I am away from home I can happily go alcohol free, it’s a habit rather than a dependency. I do enjoy some alcohol free beers, they are much improved these days.
I go through phases of not drinking Tues to Thurs but all my blood test results remain the same (good) whatever I do so I am going to continue enjoying a nice glass or Cahors Malbec…off to pour one now!
Thanks for sharing, Gill. I don't think there is any way I could or would give up alcohol if I lived in France. A glass of Cahors Malbec sounds amazing. 😋
When I was younger, I had quite the friendly relationship with booze. As I've gotten older, I've drifted away from it and might have a couple of drinks per year, which is a shame because our adult kids keep the liquor cabinet fully stocked.
It also helps that I'm only 5' tall and can't quite *reach* the liquor cabinet without the assistance of the boys, who are both a foot taller than I am. LOL
When I was younger most of my hobbies included drinking in the pub afterwards. Fortunately I was always the driver and so drinking was restricted unless we were on weekends away or on holidays or we were hosting at home. Unfortunately I have several food allergies and I discovered that one of the allergies was triggered by the nitrites found in wine and beer and it’s possible that this triggered my cancer in 2014. So wine and beer are out. I hardly drink these days apart from an occasional gin and tonic. Real tonic and not slimline which contains ingredients that I am also allergic to! There’s nothing like the threat of ill health to change your drinking and eating habits!
If I drink alcohol, I fall asleep soon after. A few Christmasses ago, I treated myself to a bottle of organic wine, to see if I could stay awake after wine. I had half a glass with our Christmas dinner, then said to my other half that I was going to have a snooze on the sofa for half an hour, then I would clear up. THREE hours later, after a verrry deep sleep, I woke to find he had done all the clearing up!! The falling asleep fiasco is a very good way to make alcohol a waste of money, so it's fizzy elderflower tonic for me now. Persevere George! Xx
I think it was quite poor of the conference to not offer alcohol free beers as part of the drinks package! I get that they are at a premium but it sounds like money wasn't really a problem if there was a free bar elsewhere.
I am really not bothered about booze as I have palpitations and terrible hangovers. But if you asked me to stop chocolate then that would be a different story. I suppose it is all about the role a certain substance plays in my life. To relax and reward myself I reach for the chocolate, where others might reach for the wine.
Unfortunately, I reach for chocolate AND wine. 🤣
Well this is like two of my favourite worlds colliding! I gave up drinking on 1 January 2019 after realising it was starting to become a real issue. Trying to keep my drinking moderate was taking over all my headspace. When I put alcohol behind me I found I had loads of time and energy on my hands (sorry that you're not getting that!) so eventually I took up triathlon and that's where I discovered your Did Not...books, which I loved, and which inspired me to keep going even though I'm not a particularly amazing athlete. I've now left teaching, started volunteering as a triathlon swim coach, and I am a sober coach, helping women in midlife to reclaim their headspace and energy from their wine habit!
About 1 in 10 of the people I've worked with and read about (over the years I've done a lot of volunteering with people giving up alcohol as well as more recently doing it as a coach) seem not to get the benefits of great sober sleep and energy even after about 3 months. Try going for another month or two as it may improve! The best book I can recommend is Alcohol Explained by William Porter - he explains what happens to your brain chemistry when you drink alcohol and it really helped me to see why completely swerving alcohol is easier than just having one or two.
I'm so gutted for you and Rachel that you're not seeing the huge benefits I did, but it sounds like you caught the problem much earlier than I did!
Amazing story, Lucy. Thanks for sharing. You should write a book!
Will check out the book recommendation - thanks!
I’d love to write a book…maybe one day!
I haven't drunk alcohol for about ten years now. I didn't intend to give it up completely but then I realised that I had gone weeks without it , without missing it and so I may as well ditch it completely. I didn't like how I became with alcohol - too talkative!
Looking back I think that it masked my shyness - and now I find I am something of an introvert. This means that after socialising where once I'd be wiped out the next day due to an alcohol hangover I am now wiped out due to an introvert hangover!
But I am glad I no longer drink alcohol. I'm not sure I feel any better but I feel that it must be good for me somehow. Plus it's cheaper (I'll tend to drink tap water when out).
There need to be more healthy soft drinks readily available in pubs etc. Ones not full of sugar.
Incidentally, last year I became vegetarian and I don't feel any better as a result of that either! Maybe there are subtle improvements and we are hoping for too much?
If I were you I'd stay off it. I'm sure that you could go back and drink with more control - but you'd very possibly find that eventually you'd slip back into old habits. (Not that your old habits were particularly serious - just clearly more than you're happy with).
Thanks for sharing, Ali. Well done with turning vegetarian too. 👍
Yes slipping back into old habits is the worry. I'm quite an all-or-nothing person.
Have a glass of sparkling cider to celebrate. Tastes great. Bubble up.
Ha, I've never been a big cider drinker but that does sound good.
I went almost entirely sober in 2023 while training for Ironman (from alcohol at least... and yes, I finished!) and I've carried much of that forward to 2024. I don't drink during the week (thank you NA Beer and my homebrew Kombucha!), but will have one or two at most on weekends - particularly "Sunday Funday." But I will note, for me the biggest thing is sleep! Since I cut back massively (I live in Wisconsin, USA - you can google our alcohol consumption, it's on par with first year uni students) I have noticed that even a few beverages within maybe 5 hours of bed time will have a negative impact on my sleep. My HRV drops precipitously, my HR spikes, and I will often wake up in the middle of the night entirely unable to fall back asleep. I'll rely on 5mg of melatonin in those cases, but I'd prefer not to, if I don't have to.
So yes, for me, it's entirely about the quality of sleep (which I know much more about due to The Self Help Bible). Thanks George!
Thanks James. Interesting stuff.
Good point about the HRV. I could probably look at the data on my Garmin to see if there's any difference. Sounds like you've got the moderation sorted perfectly. Sunday Funday appeals to me!
Airport beer on the 20th September?
Definitely food for thought for me and good work for you guys. I only drink socially but have been debating for some time stopping that too as I could just as easily drink lime and soda (not a beer fan and don’t really ‘get’ the non alcoholic beer/wine thing) and hate the lethargy I feel after a night at the pub and a couple of G&Ts with friends. I must have a different group of friends though (or be more paranoid!) as definitely feel peer pressure to drink! Cheers
It's tricky. Would that night at the pub with friends be as fun without the G&Ts?
George, you’re doing a wonderful thing for you and your family. The latest alcohol drinking recommendation in the USA is - don’t drink any alcohol. Zero is the recommended amount.
I enjoy wine, especially champagne. I used to drink when we went out to dinner or to a friend’s house and at home sometimes. When Covid hit, I took a leave of absence (nurse in an operating room - theater) because my husband has a compromised immune system. I was fearful of getting sick from my coworkers and infecting him. Four months later, I just gave up and retired at 67. I was home all the time, isolated, and bored so I started having wine every afternoon/night. My yearly physical showed elevated liver enzymes (AST and ALT). My doctor called me fearing I had hepatitis because I’d never had elevated enzymes before and he knew I wasn’t a big drinker. I stopped drinking for 2 weeks, retested, and they were fine. I decided I’d better cut down on drinking. That lasted some time and then I started again, my liver enzymes rose again, and it took one month to get them back to normal! That was a wake up call. It’s not like I was drinking a bottle/night. It was 2 glasses! I have Irish heritage! Where’s my drinking gene! I didn’t want to hurt my liver. I’m hurting enough other organs with my sugar intake! I periodically stop drinking but I still do drink wine but it’s in spurts where I’ll drink a bottle over 3-4 days and then not have any for weeks. We just started going out to eat in April 2024 to only one restaurant with widely spaced tables. It’s better to not drink because the road there and back is sinking/sliding into the ocean and alertness is required at all times to see all the new cracks, dips, and bumps in the road. The latest I’ve read is the road is slipping 13 inches per week. They’re now pumping water out from under it. Plus we had a small earthquake recently. So no drinking when out to eat at Trump Golf Club!
I’ve found “Less” which is an app to keep track of drinking which I find useful. You’re not drinking at all which is much better so you don’t need it but maybe others would like it. It’s free.
I’m sure more restful sleep will come to you and if it doesn’t, you can get a sleep study done to see why you don’t sleep well. Do you snore? That’s very bad. It deprives you of oxygen and shortens your life and sets you up for heart attacks and strokes. People wear positive pressure masks and that takes care of the problem.
Not drinking alcohol is beneficial in every way. I hope you and Rachel continue. It’s a good example for your kids too.
Thanks for sharing, Mary. So interesting to read. It sounds like you've moderated your drinking really well after seeing the effect on your liver.
I don't snore. Unless I've had a lot to drink! But I do like the idea of a sleep clinic.
That road you drive along sounds terrifying! 😱
I'm still trying to figure out how anyone likes the taste of alcoholic beverages. It"s never been a thing for me because of the taste. But, there are times when I do feel left out because I'm weird.
I think you're very lucky not weird. It's mostly the taste, rather than the effect, that makes me want to drink.
I am reading these comments, and feeling almost guilty. I don't drink much alcohol at all, but, I wonder how often others drink more knowing someone else is the designated driver, which is usually me! However, I compare this to my craving for sweets, and how they are hard to control at times. I think you have to do what makes you happy. When it is your time to go, your time will be up. As long as it doesn't interfere with the family, (i.e. transporting someone to their planned events, etc.), I say enjoy it while you can!!! Moderation is key, this is true, but I have never been a drinker, and there have been many times I wish I had worried less and enjoyed more.
Thanks Lori. I totally agree. Moderation is key. I'll hopefully find a better balance. Just back from 3 days camping and resisted that camp fire red wine.
I seem to have an on and off relationship with wine. I'll have some every evening with dinner for a few weeks then nothing for a few weeks. The wine definitely affects my sleep and I know that I am better off without it. I suspect this on and off trend will continue.
That's great that you're able to switch it off easily. Not a bad trend to continue.
Weird. By coincidence, apparently, I gave up alcohol two months ago (May 17), on a trial basis. I also have seen no differences in how I feel or sleep, and zero weight loss. Yes, the non-alcoholic beers are much improved in taste. And while they have no alcohol, still there are calories. Now at least I don't have to wonder if I did something stupid last night because I had one too many. I do stupid things completely sober.
That's a weird coincidence. I think I was a week after you. Are you going to keep going? I'm still undecided.
I live in France in an area that produces great red wine…need I say more?! 🍷 I enjoy a glass or two of red most nights while cooking and eating dinner. Like you I have cut it out in the past for a few weeks a few times, but found it seemed to make no difference to my health or how I feel or sleep at all.
I never drink an excessive amount, I can’t bear feeling ill the next day, I’m getting on a bit now and hangovers would kill me 🤣
When I am away from home I can happily go alcohol free, it’s a habit rather than a dependency. I do enjoy some alcohol free beers, they are much improved these days.
I go through phases of not drinking Tues to Thurs but all my blood test results remain the same (good) whatever I do so I am going to continue enjoying a nice glass or Cahors Malbec…off to pour one now!
Thanks for sharing, Gill. I don't think there is any way I could or would give up alcohol if I lived in France. A glass of Cahors Malbec sounds amazing. 😋
When I was younger, I had quite the friendly relationship with booze. As I've gotten older, I've drifted away from it and might have a couple of drinks per year, which is a shame because our adult kids keep the liquor cabinet fully stocked.
Wow, a couple of drinks per year is very impressive. Sounds like you've nailed your moderation.
It also helps that I'm only 5' tall and can't quite *reach* the liquor cabinet without the assistance of the boys, who are both a foot taller than I am. LOL
When I was younger most of my hobbies included drinking in the pub afterwards. Fortunately I was always the driver and so drinking was restricted unless we were on weekends away or on holidays or we were hosting at home. Unfortunately I have several food allergies and I discovered that one of the allergies was triggered by the nitrites found in wine and beer and it’s possible that this triggered my cancer in 2014. So wine and beer are out. I hardly drink these days apart from an occasional gin and tonic. Real tonic and not slimline which contains ingredients that I am also allergic to! There’s nothing like the threat of ill health to change your drinking and eating habits!
Wow, sorry to hear that Barbara. Yes, having health scare and allergies must make the decision not to drink a lot easier. Sending lots of love.
If I drink alcohol, I fall asleep soon after. A few Christmasses ago, I treated myself to a bottle of organic wine, to see if I could stay awake after wine. I had half a glass with our Christmas dinner, then said to my other half that I was going to have a snooze on the sofa for half an hour, then I would clear up. THREE hours later, after a verrry deep sleep, I woke to find he had done all the clearing up!! The falling asleep fiasco is a very good way to make alcohol a waste of money, so it's fizzy elderflower tonic for me now. Persevere George! Xx
Haha, this is amazing! Very funny. Next time the kitchen needs clearing, have a glass of wine and go and sit on the sofa.