Hayle Yeah... or No?

Rain, Rivalry, and a Farewell to Fernando

‘Is there anything I’m not better at than you?’

Leo’s words hit hard.

We’d just been tenpin bowling for his 15th birthday. He’d finished with an impressive three strikes in a row and narrowly beat my respectable 136 with a 140. We followed it up with a game of pool. Despite having only played a handful of times in his life, he somehow beat me at that too.

‘Seriously, Dad,’ he said in the car on the way home, ‘is there ANYTHING I’m not better at than you?’

I resisted the urge to reel off a list. A list which, I’ll admit, is shrinking by the day.

I don’t mind Leo beating me at bowling. Or that he’s faster at running (over short distances). Or quicker up hills on a bike. Or better at swimming. I don’t even mind that he’s now probably a better footballer (although this is open to debate). I don’t mind him being significantly taller than me. And physically stronger. Just last week, we met up with my friend Damo (who claims his grandma invented banoffee pie) and his family at a nearby beach while they were down on holiday. We were standing in a circle chatting away, and mid-conversation, Leo crept up behind me, grabbed both my ankles and yanked them from underneath me. With no time to react or break my fall, I face-planted straight into the sand right in front of everyone. Weirdly, I didn’t even mind that. It caught me so off guard and I found it very funny (and maybe a little painful and embarrassing), but I was quietly impressed with his strength and agility.

But pool? There was absolutely no way he was better than me at pool. I knew that his victory had been a one-off. A fluke. It didn’t make him a better pool player and I was not ready to relinquish my crown to him just yet.

We booked a few days away in Cornwall during the Easter holidays. As soon as Leo found out the holiday park had a pool table, the trash talk resumed.

‘Are you ready to get ANNIHILATED at pool AGAIN?’ he said. ‘I can’t WAIT to DESTROY you.’

I was ready for revenge.

Layla has exams coming up and is also a bit over family holidays, so she chose to stay at home and revise instead. I thought she’d regret it and be envious of all the fun we’d have. But the way things unfolded, I imagine she spent most of the time we were away fist-pumping over her wise decision.